in the name of the Father (2/5); Lucifer/Gabriel

[cashay]

chapter two
after all this has passed I still will remain


It went that way every day. Somehow Gabriel had lost count, had stopped even caring, as long as he held on, as long as he didn't give in to Lucifer. Every day Lucifer would tell him about the things he had done, all those people he had hurt, all the things he had destroyed. And he told him with so much joy as if he just saw the most beautiful thing on Earth. But he didn't; instead he saw the most horrible things one could ever see, and he did most of them himself.

But Lucifer didn't seem to even see how wrong he was, even less care for anything but the destruction of the world. And still he felt he needed to have his personal revenge with Gabriel, because in his eyes Gabriel deserved it, deserved to be hung here and tortured day after day, because Gabriel had betrayed him.

After this first day Gabriel hadn't spoken a word to Lucifer, never tried to bring up the issue again. His emotions were just as deeply buried as they had been before. The only sounds that came from his mouth were groans and cries of pain when Lucifer's nails dug to deep into his flesh, when he tore at his vessel just a bit to much.

Lucifer on the other hand was talking. He was always talking, telling Gabriel about all the gruesome things he had done and would do. All the things he planned on doing to Gabriel and everything else that came to his mind. About demons, about Castiel, about the Winchesters. There was nothing he left out, except for the past they had shared and the hard feelings that now made Lucifer torture his former nestmate.

~*~

This day Lucifer was particularly pissed. He was tearing at Gabriel's Grace, for once not just hurting his body. Before it had always been like he had been somehow afraid of doing anything but restrain it, afraid of God knew what. Or maybe he just couldn't stand him anymore.

Gabriel hadn't really cared, just happy that there was at least one part of him that this tainted, deformed Lucifer hadn't touched, after he had ruined everything else of the angel's. Everything they once had shared had now been reclaimed by this version of the Archangel he had loved long ago and had been tainted by him.

Where love and care had once been, was now only rage and cruelty. He had felt like he was slowly dying, bleeding to death not from the countless wounds on his vessel but deep from the inside, because this was just more than he could take. But now, Lucifer was doing even more, was pushing even further and destroying the last of what Gabriel had had just for himself.

He screamed and his Grace tried to get away, tried to withdraw from this cruelty, from this pain. But there was nowhere he could go, body and Grace bound and at the mercy of the devil.

Just like the fists of the devil were pounding on his body his Grace was tearing on Gabriel's Grace. With all his might he tried to rip, tried to destroy. Gabriel's Grace lay bare and he could do nothing to protect himself. There was just pain and nothing else left as he felt Lucifer's Grace surround his own, suffocating him with the sheer ferocity.

A small whimper escaped his raw throat but he wasn't aware of his body anymore, none of the physical wounds could draw his mind away from the way Lucifer clawed into his Grace. It was pure agony as bit by bit his Grace was torn and mutilated.

Even though Gabriel had never been to Hell this had to be how it felt to be there. Endless pain, so much he felt like he would die if it hurt anymore than that. But it hurt more and he didn't die. The fire of agony was consuming him, but he was still here, he still was alive. Every breath hurt, every thought, every fiber of his being felt like it was on fire as Lucifer took his time with destroying him from the inside out, piece by piece.

He couldn't do anything but take it. Suffer through every moment in order to suffer more, because he couldn't die, no matter how much he wished for it in those minutes. Minutes that seemed like hours as he was stripped bare; was mutilated by the very creature he had once loved and trusted.

Bit by bit Lucifer tore pieces from his Grace, relishing in it, and his Grace grew stronger with every new wound he opened, every bit he ripped from him. While Gabriel felt himself weaken something in the devil had been released, bottled up hate or whatever. He couldn't bring himself to care. But where in the days before had been precision there was now only rage and violence without restraints.

A hoarse scream escaped him as he felt Lucifer's fist go into his body and now physically tear at his Grace. This was pure agony. It was like having your soul ripped from your body with pure hatred, only for the purpose of hurting you. There was nothing Lucifer wanted, nothing besides hurting Gabriel, bringing him as much agony as he could.

And it was that thought that broke Gabriel. Shattered him right were Lucifer's blood-stained hands ripped his Grace apart. This wasn't done to get him back, to make him love Lucifer again in some twisted way. This was done solely for the purpose of hurting him, bringing him pain because Lucifer wanted him to be in pain. Because he relished in the feeling of Gabriel's hurt.

Even with his Grace restrained Gabriel could feel the grim satisfaction radiating from Lucifer. He also felt pain and sorrow but really? He couldn't care less. All he wanted was to go, to finally have it over with. Because this was just too much. This was just much more than he could possibly bear.

Gabriel had lived far away from his family for so long, had gotten used to the pain of being alone. He had chosen it, would choose it again every day over the pain of seeing his siblings go at each others throats. But this pain? There was nothing that had ever hurt so much.

It wasn't only his Grace which torn and tainted until even Gabriel himself couldn't recognize it anymore, shied away from the once so beautiful thing. It really didn't feel like him anymore. It felt so close to Lucifer's own Grace that the urge to vomit rose in Gabriel. There was nothing left of the Grace of an Archangel. Everything that was still there, was... different. Not right. And still Lucifer tore at him, making it impossible to feel anything besides pain and despair.

But maybe even worse than his destroyed Grace was his destroyed believe. He had always been sure that Lucifer was not totally lost. He had refused to believe, that there was nothing left of the Lucifer he knew. But now... no, the Lucifer he knew would never do something like that. He would never destroy a being, much less his own brother in this way.

With his Grace destroyed, he stopped dying slowly and started dying fast. He felt the life drain from him together with the light. And every new wound Lucifer ripped in his soul, his Grace, his body, meant also a new place where the life could leave him.

And leave him it did. It was running out of him, with every breath he not only felt unbearable, agonizing pain, but also he felt himself dying. And he didn't fight it. No, he embraced the knowledge that all this would be over soon. Whatever happened after an angel died, nothing could be worse than the pain he endured now.

Because this was not only physical pain – that he could take – but also the pain of a Grace destroyed, a soul left bleeding. He had loved Lucifer. Even though the Morningstar had fallen so long ago, there had still been a part in Gabriel that had loved him, believed in him. But now? The very being he had loved so long ago put him through the most agonizing pain. He liked hurting him. He liked destroying him. And because he found pleasure in tearing apart Gabriel's Grace Gabriel was dying.

Not because of the torture, not even because he ripped apart his Grace, but because he had broken the soul. After all this decades of suffering, of being alone, of being in pain, Gabriel finally knew what it meant to be broken. To be totally and utterly broken.

~*~

When Lucifer left, there was barely a life force left in Gabriel. He really felt torn, broken, beaten. And more lost than he had ever felt in all the endless years he had existed. This was just... this had been more than he could take. He knew it. He felt it.

Gabriel was dying. And this time for real, there was no trick here. Not that he wanted to pull a trick. Because for the first time he wanted to die. There was nothing keeping him here anymore, not even the sheer will to live just because nobody else thought he could. Lucifer had completed his task, Gabriel was beaten and broken.

There was nothing that kept him alive and so he faded. He felt the life, his soul, his Grace, draining from him, leaving him weaker and colder with every minute. There was not much left now and Gabriel smiled a weak smile.

The chains hurt his already maltreated body even more, making him unable to feel his arms. But none of that mattered anymore. It was nearly over, he could feel it. And yes, it was some kind of triumph for Gabriel to die while Lucifer was God only knew where. God probably didn't know for that matter, since he didn't give a damn.

Thinking about his Father made his smile waver a bit, but he pushed the thoughts aside. He had long ago closed away his past and with it his Father who didn't give a damn. And he didn't want to spend his last minutes being angry about him. He much rather spend them just... being.

He smiled again, his bruised lips curving into a barely there smile as he closed his battered eyes. This was it. He could feel it. Darkness was creeping up to hold him close and he let it. He welcomed it as a friend that would take him away from all this pain and sorrow to a place which not even he knew.

With those last relieved feelings, the thoughts about nothing but peace in the end and a strange smile on his deformed face, Gabriel gave in to the darkness and let himself being pulled away with it, to places that even an Archangel didn't know.


chapter 3