cashay: (Gabriel)
cashay ([personal profile] cashay) wrote2011-05-13 11:38 pm

the fallen of the war 2/2 (John/Gabriel)

1st February – southern Hue – 1100


“Stay close, Kiddo.” Gabriel ordered as he and John crouched behind a wall that looked ready to crumble if you even so much as looked it. John just snorted in response; it isn't like he can go anywhere. They had barely been moving for fifteen minutes and they were already under heavy fire. They had advanced slowly but from the six blocks they had planned to take, only one was under their control so far. John doubted they'd make it before nightfall.

Snipers ambushed them out of buildings, from roofs and from around corners. Once again all their nice and shiny equipment proved to be no real help against the determination and skill of their enemy. It wasn't like they themselves weren't determined but those were two different matters. Charlie had much more to loose than they had.

And really, even though no Marine would admit it out loud they all were impressed by the guerilla tactics the Vietcong used. Impressed and very furious, none of them liked to be shot at by a sniper or ambushed.

The more dying in this jungle of grey houses looked like a certainty, the more John was determined not to. Staying with Gabriel Muck probably was the best way to cling on to life.

John searched the windows of the house closest to them for any sign of a sniper. He had checked once already but he had learned quickly that once was never enough. The smashed windows of the white house could look empty but that didn't mean there was no one waiting in the shadows, ready to shoot them as soon as the chance arose. There wasn't one window that wasn't smashed, either by shots or by the explosions that had sounded earlier. The black marks on the once white facade were another proof of the violent fights that rocked the street this morning.

“What the fuck is this piece of shit doing?” John didn't turn around as he heard the angry remark, ignoring his urge to find out what his Sergeant was talking about. Rather, he kept scanning the windows for the peak of a sniper riffle.

“Who's doing what?” he asked though, worried because Muck sounded as angry as when he had heard him talk to Walker the last time.

“Walker!” Ah, that explained the tone, “he's moving out with his group. Has he completely lost his mind?”

Now John couldn't resist turning around and look what Gabriel was talking about because it sounded really bad. He spotted Walker and half of the platoon moving forward towards one house from which the enemy had taken them under fire especially heavy.

He immediately understood what Gabriel meant. Walker was exposing their side, giving Charlie the perfect opportunity to cut them off from one another. In that case Walker and his half of the squad would be trapped inside the building while the rest was scattered all over that damn street.

Gabriel grabbed his radio but it was already too late, they were emerging into the building, leaving them with a completely exposed way right in between the scattered men. “Fuck!”

John couldn't add anything to that because this mission had suddenly really become one big clusterfuck and they were right in the middle. They couldn't pull back in case Walker and his group needed them but they were fully exposed here, an easy target.

Every hope that Charlie had maybe not noticed this stupid idea were lost when a bullet hit the stone right next too John's ear. He took cover behind the wall, which actually didn't crumble even when he pressed his back against it. “You okay?” he heard Gabriel's voice, edged with worry. John just nodded, willing his racing heart to slow done.

This wasn't the first time a sniper shot at him but the reaction was the same every time. And this one had come far too close to actually killing him. The shots continued, John could feel them hitting the stonewall, apparently someone with an automatic weapon had decided he wanted to see them dead.

“Gotta get the fuck out of here.” Gabriel commanded with a pressed voice just as bullets were flying all around them. John really wished he could tell him that not moving sounded like a better idea but the Sergeant grabbed his arm and dragged him along the small wall.

John had no idea where the rest of their team was but Gabriel didn't give him the opportunity to ask questions or protest, dragging him along into an abandoned building.

1st February – southern Hue – 1130


John and Gabriel had made it to the second level of the building, clearing it room by room to avoid any bad surprises that could kill them in the end. Charlie wasn't very hospitable when it came to Marines. They worked their way through the building silently, not once talking about the fact that out there their unit was probably gotten killed. But right now they couldn't do anything for them. If they had stayed there, trying to protect Walker and his stupid maneuver they'd been dead by now.

And they could still easily die, killed by a grenade or a sniper or simply because they weren't watchful enough and someone shot before they did.

The building they were currently hiding in had been an office building before the war had made all the workers flee and leave it abandoned. Most of the furniture was destroyed by now, papers and phones lying around on the floor.Smashed glass was ever present when you came close to the window, even though, unlike in the building that John had searched for snipers, some of them were still intact.

They moved through the third floor not seeing anyone and John felt his hope rise that they would be able to hide here without getting into a gunfight. But when they entered the fourth floor his hopes were proven wrong.

Four Vietnamese soldiers were sitting on the floors, three of them were looking out of the window, shooting at targets John couldn't see. One of them was watching the door though and when he saw them he started to shout something in this strange language of theirs.

Gabriel was faster than John, shooting before John had even taken aim.

Things went into a haze. Shots were everywhere. Not even the chance to take cover. John's training took over and he lost himself in the familiar motion of aiming and shooting. He didn't think, he wasn't even in real control of his body; it was like he was an outsider, watching himself fight.

This had happened before, his body just reacting without thinking but it had never been this intense. It was like someone else had taken him over, made him move farther, react better than he would normally ever do.

John felt the breath in his throat hitch as one of the bullets tore through his clothes, hitting his leg. He staggered back taking hold of the wall to keep himself upright. He saw more than he felt that the blood was seeping through his clothes and down his leg, bathing everything in its crimson color. It felt strange, being shot without really feeling it. This was all so unreal John nearly thought he was in a bad dream.

That was when the pain really hit home. He groaned, barely containing a scream and felt himself sliding down the wall he had used to keep standing and shooting only moments before. Suddenly he was back in his body again, no longer just a silent observer. And fuck did it hurt.

John wished he could go back to the peaceful state of mind he had been in before. Not only because it had felt so much better, but because apparently he was of much better use when he felt nothing and his training took over.

Fuck, he needed to get back up and take his damn riffle so he could help Gabriel! But said Sergeant crouched next to him a few seconds later, pressing him down to the ground again. There was worry edged into his face as he observed John's reaction.

“They're dead?” he asked, the pain seeping through into his voice. He tried not to let it show, he didn't want to look like he was weak or a whiner. It was just one goddamn bullet he had taken, nothing to cry about.

“Yeah we wasted them. You saved my life, you know?” The grin on his face looked pained and for a short moment John wondered if he had been hit too. Then it hit him. He saved Gabriel's life?

“What?”

That Gabriel started to laugh really didn't help John's comprehension and if he wouldn't feel so goddamn week from all that blood that had already left his body he would have been angry. But he was getting too fucking tired. “You saved my life. This bullet you took, it would've hit me if you wouldn't have stepped in, Kiddo.”

John wanted to say something else, because he didn't remember doing something like this. Shouldn't he remember? He should've seen it after all from his weird outsiders perspective. But he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything that had gone on actually, he just knew that he hadn't been himself, that he had acted somehow different like his training just completely ruled him – which was probably a good thing. But whatever he would have said, Gabriel chose that moment to pull on the blood-soaked material of his trousers.

A new wave of pain hit him and nausea crept up, making it hard for him not to puke right on Gabriel. But neither the Sergeant nor his wound would appreciate it if he vomited all over them so he fought it down, instead groaning loudly. “Fuck, Muck ,that hurts.”

His Sergeant looked up at him and John got really worried as he saw compassion in Muck's eyes. “I'm sorry, Kiddo but it will hurt a lot more,” he ripped the trouser leg further apart before he took out his water, pouring it over his wound. John bit his lip, fuck that hurt!

“I'll get the bullet out and close the hole, or you'll bleed to death. And I'm not letting you die because of me, you got that, John?”

John nodded, his jaw was clenched as he was waiting for the pain and he didn't have to wait long as Gabriel just pushed the tip of his knife into the hole, poking around – at least it seemed that way to John. It took all he had not to scream in agony as Gabriel tried to remove the bullet, but he knew he would endanger them both if he did.

“Fuck, Gabriel, hurry up you goddamn asshole!” he hissed through gritted teeth. Normally he would never insult Gabriel but right now he would insult God himself if he decided to show his lazy ass. Instead of answering him Gabriel pulled him knife away. John's head sagged back against the wall, his eyes were closed, his breath ragged. Sweat ran down his forehead and he was fucking shaking. Suddenly something was thrust against his lips and his head snapped forward.

Gabriel was pressing his belt against his lips. “Muck, what the fuck is...” but before he could continue his rant Gabriel had just thrust the belt between his teeth and pressed his jaw shut.

“Bite on it so you don't scream.

Again leaving him with no chance to reply Gabriel took his knife again and started poking around in his fucking wound! John bit down hard on the belt, doing his best not to scream or push Gabriel away and punch him – or both.

“Nearly done, John, just a little bit longer okay? Just a little bit,” it sounded more like Muck was trying to calm himself down than John but the wounded Marine took what he could get. He forced himself to focus on Gabriel's voice as his Sergeant did his best to remove the bullet and keep him from bleeding out. He actually found his voice to be soothing and even though he didn't exactly relax, it got a little bit easier.

Without thinking about it, John's hand found Gabriel's leg as the other man was kneeling beside him and he just held on. A voice in the back of his pain clouded brain told him that it was painful and he was probably hurting Gabriel by how tight his fingers wound around his thigh.

But if he felt uncomfortable Gabriel sure as hell didn't show it. He kept murmuring, reassuring himself as much as he was reassuring John, while he was entirely focused on removing the bullet from his leg.

John felt himself getting lost in the pain and in the voice before suddenly the pain got even more intense. He couldn't keep himself from crying out around the belt, and as another intense wave hit him it just took him into the depth of unconsciousness.

1st February – southern Hue – 1600


When John looked up he noticed that there was something warm holding him close. He pressed closer to the source of warmth and comfort, his brain still fogged, but something was pinching through the fog of sleep. A pained sound made his way out of his throat and suddenly a hand was rubbing his chest. “Shh, John. It's gonna be okay, Kiddo.”

The pain came back ever so slowly. At first it was just a slight tug in his leg but, the more he edged towards consciousness, the more intense the pain got, and he felt more and more like someone was driving burning knives into his flesh.

He started to remember and wished he hadn't, “Did you get it out?” he mumbled, turning his head pained to look at the older guy. Gabriel nodded looking tired but at least he's still alive.

“Yeah, you were unconscious a while and we still can't leave here, I tried.”

John nodded, letting his head fall back onto Gabriel's shoulder, tired and exhausted, and God his leg fucking hurt. “Can't you give me some of your morphine?” he asked, practically pleading and Gabriel nodded.

“Yeah, I can do that, John. I can do that,” If his mind wasn't so fogged by the pain of having a big fucking hole in his leg he would've probably wondered why Gabriel was acting so weird. But right then he just wanted that morphine, “I think your bone is damaged too and that's why you're hurting so much.”

“I don't care, just give me that fucking morphine!” John groaned, ready to hit Gabriel if he didn't give him something right the fuck now. In that moment he felt something pierce his skin and then Gabriel threw something away. “There you go, Kiddo.”

John smiled weakly as he felt how the morphine began to ease the pain well or maybe he was just imagining that the drug was taking effect so fast. He sighed, melting back into Gabriel who tightened his one armed hold around him. “And don't you dare to get unconscious on me – again.”

“Don't worry, not dying either.” Gabriel snorted and John felt the urge to punch him at least a bit but he was far too tired, and damn, the morphine really was good.

“I know that, I didn't get that bullet out and save your lazy ass from bleeding out just so you could die on me now.”

John had to laugh but he soon noticed that it wasn't a good idea since the pain from his leg pierced through the fog of the morphine when he moved it too much. So he decided he should stop laughing, instead resting back against Gabriel who had pulled him tight against his chest, “Hey, Gabe?” John slurred. Hey, he really liked that morphine but how much had Gabriel actually given him?

“Yes, John?” Gabriel sounded a bit exhausted and John turned his head to look at him, shifting his body so he could rest his head on Gabriel's shoulder.

“You're warm.”

This time it was Gabriel who laughed, John could feel the slight vibration in his chest and smiled. It was good if Gabriel laughed, he shouldn't be that sad, “I know John. I'm alive, normally people who are alive are warm.”

But John didn't really hear the end of the sentence, drifting away to sleep, tired from the blood loss and the drugs floating through his system.

1st February – south of Hue – 1900


The next time John woke up his thoughts were much more clear. The effect of the morphine had started to fade but the pain wasn't too bad. It was manageable, and John could actually think clearly and move without feeling the need to role into a ball on the floor. It was strange but he wasn't going to complain.

He wasn't curled up against Gabriel anymore, the Sergeant sat by the window looking for enemies or maybe just gazing at the sinking sun, John couldn't tell. By the long shadows and the sinking sun John figured it was probably already pretty late. He wondered how it was possible that he had slept this long with all the war going on out there. The shots still echoed around them, and every now and then an explosion could be heard.

Apparently he had gotten used to war enough to make him sleep through all of it. He tried to move to a more comfortable position but his leg protested as he put to much pressure on it and he groaned, “Fuck,” he hissed.

As he had finally adjusted himself, now slumped half against the wall with his back and not with his shoulder he heard a low chuckle from the window. “Oh fuck you, Muck.” This made the chuckle only get louder.

Gabriel did nothing to help him, and John was glad about it. He already felt enough like a fucking kid, without his Sergeant going all mother hen on him. He let his head fall back against the hard wall, which had also had been hit by its fair share of bullets. His eyes were closed but they snapped open as he heard Gabriel shuffle and walk over to him.

The soft tapping sound of his feet as he walked over the glass of the broken window and a handful of bullets was barely audible against the blaring soundscape of choppers, explosions and shots. He turned his head a bit, looking at the older man as he sat down beside him.

“We're gonna spend the night here.” Gabriel told him, taking a sip from his water. “Charlie handed us our ass on a plate.”

John nodded silently; he had known that the minute Walker had done this stupid stunt of his. For a moment he wondered if Walker and his men were still alive and if they were, did they wish to be dead?

Gabriel handed the bottle over to him and John took it gratefully, taking a small sip of his Sergeant's water. But Gabriel would have none of it, looking at him until John gulped down more water. He was thirsty and actually couldn't find his own water anywhere near, but he didn't want to take all the water from his superior even though he needed it thanks to the blood loss.

“So we're stuck, huh?” he muttered, handing the bottle back to Gabriel and resting his head against the wall once more.

“Yes, no way to get us out of here right now.”

John felt his heart speed up a bit because he damn well knew that that could mean he wouldn't make it. Okay, his wound wasn't that bad, just a bullet in his leg, his artery open and a splintered bone. Well, if he put it like that, it sounded bad but he could survive thanks to Gabriel, who took care of the bullet and his artery – however he did it. But if Charlie decided to visit them he was fucked. He couldn't even move his leg properly, let alone run with it, that was fucking impossible.

“Awesome,” he muttered darkly, tipping his head slightly forward to take a look at his wound. Fuck, his trouser leg was covered in blood.

Gabriel didn't say anything just put an arm around John's shoulder and tugged him close. John didn't say anything either, also his first instinct was to protest that intimate gesture but it felt good so he just accepted it. No use in arguing with Muck anyway.

1st February – southern Hue – 2200


He had slept again; wow he had to be very exhausted to sleep so much. Gabriel was still sitting next to him, still holding John in his arms. It should feel weird, but it didn't, just in a strange way it actually felt good. He turned around, putting his head on Gabriel's shoulder again. Fuck, he would never do this if anyone could see him. He would never be able to live it down, that he cuddled with Gabriel, but right now he didn't care. It felt good and warm, and he was exhausted.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Gabriel teased and pulled him closer, his arm tightening around him. It felt nearly as if he was trying to protect him. John grunted, burying his head in Gabriel's neck because it was good for hiding and his goddamn head hurt.

“Fuck off, Muck!” he mumbled, his lips flush against the older man's neck as he spoke. He felt Muck shudder slightly but didn't make too much of it. It felt good being here, despite the fact that his leg hurt like hell and he was sitting on a carpeted floor that had already seen better days. It was dark outside, only the fires that were burning all throughout the cities, giving light. It had started getting colder as the wind swept in through the broken windows. Or maybe it was just the blood loss that made him cold.

“C'mon,” apparently Muck didn't feel like giving up today and John couldn't do anything against it beside growl at him. Which didn't prove to be all that effective, “you need to eat something.”

John sighed and nodded, because yeah, Gabriel was annoying but he was right. Slowly he straightened up, leaning more against the wall and not so much against Gabriel anymore. Gabriel's arm stayed around his should though, still holding him close. John found he really didn't mind.

“Fine.” His gruff answer made Gabriel smile and the older Marine handed him some of their combat ration. John made a face at him because if there was one thing he hated more than Charlie and the jungle, it were those goddamn combat rations.

But Gabriel wouldn't have any of it, making a face at him right back. There wasn't a chance in hell anyway, that he would find something else to eat so John just ate it in silence while Gabriel was watching him. “You should eat too, you know,” he prompted which made Gabriel chuckle.

“I have these.” He pulled out a chocolate bar and started eating it.

“You know you can't life from sweets alone, don't you?” John grumbled, not very pleased that he had to eat this whatever it was while Gabriel happily munched on his chocolate. There wasn't even an answer, just a pointed look, but John was pretty sure Gabriel was trying to tell him that he could survive on chocolate alone.

Two chocolate bars suddenly landed in John's lap as he set down the empty can, and he looked at Gabriel, surprised. His Sergeant never ever gave away his sweets. “Eat it, Kiddo, you need the energy.”

John snorted but took them thankfully, even though he was eying Gabriel carefully, practically waiting for him to take the chocolate away again. This could be one of his weird jokes. “Don't worry, it's really yours and no, it's not poisoned.”

“Well, Muck, guess you're going soft in your old age!” John teased good-heartedly, before happily digging into the chocolate that really tasted just like home. He noticed the fond look on Gabriel's face as he watched him eat the chocolate but he didn't comment on it, rather enjoying the taste of the sweet on his tongue instead.

“Thanks, Gabriel,” he said as he was finished and leaned back against the wall again. He felt better now he wasn't hungry anymore, and the chocolate had really brightened his mood. His Sergeant just chuckled, pulling him in close again and John let him. It felt nice, actually and thinking about Gabriel's arm around him was much nicer than listening to the sounds of war and just waiting for the moment that they were spotted and he would die.

“You're welcome, Kiddo.” Gabriel grinned and poked him, before he pulled his rifle up onto his lap so he would have it ready at hand whenever he might need it. When he looked closer, John noticed that it wasn't Gabriel's sniper rifle, but his shotgun; a Winchester Model 1912, as he had told him one time when John had asked him about the weapon.

The weapon wasn't even produced anymore and John wondered how Gabriel even still used it. He should've long ago run out of bullets but that was Gabriel, no one ever really knew how he got all the stuff he needed. And frankly, no one asked, John suspected they were all a bit afraid of the answer.

“That might just be a million-dollar wound,” Gabriel suddenly said, disturbing the silence between them and pulling John away from his thoughts.

“A million-dollar wound?” he asked, a bit surprised. He wasn't sure if he was hopeful or not.

He didn't exactly like it here and he would do anything to return back home, but he didn't know if he actually wanted to be home right now. Or leave his comrades in this especially fierce battle. Once a Marine, always a Marine, and he wouldn't like lying around in some bed while his fellow Marines died out here.

So he just shrugged, conflicted between hoping he could get out of this hell and hoping he didn't have to leave all these awesome people behind. “Hey, Gabriel, when are you going home?”

One thing he really didn't want to miss was his Sergeant, he might be an asshole half of the time, always pulling his stupid pranks, but John really liked him. Gabriel was someone you could rely on if things took a turn for the worse and John really needed someone like that. He liked Gabriel. He hoped he wouldn't have to stay here when his Sergeant had to leave. Or get assigned to a different unit, he liked it here.

“When this piece of shit is over,” Gabriel answered and the look John gave him had to show his irritation very clearly because Gabriel started to grin, “I came here when this stupid war started and I'm gonna leave when it's over.”

John couldn't believe what he was hearing, but for once Gabriel didn't look like he was joking. He watched John, and if this weren't Gabriel who absolutely could pull something like this, John wouldn't have believed one word. But this was Gabriel and he was able to do something like this, hell he could probably do anything he wanted to do, even the high ranking CO's - who sometimes got their high asses down to them - didn't dare and interfere with Gabriel. Maybe this was the reason.

“You've been here the whole fucking time?” John asked, disbelief in his voice, but also respect for the older Marine.

“Yeah.” Gabriel shrugged and leaned back lazily, an amused grin on his face due to John's disbelieving look. He clearly enjoyed this and John couldn't even be angry with him for it. Especially when his arm tightened around him.

“But... aren't you supposed to... do the Rotation thing?” John so wasn't going to let this go; he wanted to know how the hell Gabriel could pull something like this off.

Gabriel snorted and winked at him, as if he was some kid not getting what one plus one equaled. Really only Gabriel could make him feel like this, especially whilst cuddling with him. “Nah, Kiddo. No place like a good old jungle, some enemies to shoot and a stone wall to take cover behind.”

John still looked at him in disbelief, because really only Gabriel could pull such a thing off and still sound at least a tiny bit sane. Why the fuck didn't he go home like every one of them would gladly do? If he really had been here from the start he had to have more than enough points to go home. And he should have seen enough horrible things to send every person to the nuthouse. Or at least disturb them.

But Gabriel was probably the guy in the whole battalion that was the most well-adjusted. Hell, probably in the whole damn Corps. It was sometimes a bit creepy how Gabe could still grin and joke after all the gruesome things they saw and did, but they would have probably all gone insane by now if it wasn't for him.

At least the new ones, the replacement. He had been one of them for only a few days, but after he had been in combat for the past couple of days and Gabriel had taken him under his wings, he had quickly become one of them.

Gabriel could be a real pain in the ass but he took care of his people. And John was fairly thankful he was one of his people. He also had the slight feeling that the people that weren't on his good side were afraid of him. Well he could understand that.

His shoulder was punched slightly and John jerked. He had been really distracted by his musing about Gabe. Something he quickly blamed on the loss of blood – he blamed a lot of things on it. “Don't think too much, Kiddo,” said the Sergeant he had just been thinking about, “your brain may explode from overstraining.”

John punched Gabriel back but couldn't stop himself from grinning as he saw the smirk on the other man's face. But he was still thinking about why he was here. “Hey, Gabe?” he asked hesitantly, subconsciously pressing closer against him. Gabriel could get really pissed if he didn't want to talk about stuff.

“Hm?” the other man made a distracted noise looking out of the window like there was anything new to be seen there. It was just the darkening sky and some rooftops – thankfully without armed Vietcong people.

“Why are you still here?” John inquired, “I mean, c'mon most of us would do everything to get out of this hell. Me included. And the rest are all nutjobs.”

Gabriel smirked again, wiggling his eyebrows in this unnerving gesture. “You already know I'm crazy. And besides you may have just gotten your ticket out of here, but hey, you didn't seem that happy either.” He laughed a silent but hearty laugh before sobering in an instant.

“Honestly? Home isn't that great. I'm not missing it. I like it here. Well okay, the getting shot at part sucks but the people here are great.”

That was something John could relate to. It wasn't actually great here but at least here he had people he could count on who didn't think he was an idiot, or useless. Some days he wished he was everywhere but here, but in the end he really didn't wanna go home again. Not that soon. “The only things I miss are all those sweets,” Gabriel threw in, apparently very aware of the sad turn John's thoughts had taken.

John snorted and outright glared at him, pushing his thoughts about here and home into the back of his mind where they wouldn't bother him for a while. “Dude, I see you eating some candy whatever at least once a day. I don't even wanna know where you get that stuff,” he complained, grinning slightly, especially since he had just eaten some of that 'stuff' himself.

Gabriel grinned back but there was something beneath his smile John couldn't pinpoint. “No you don't. And it is still not enough.” Now he was moaning in exaggerated suffering. “I need my sugar, Johnny-Boy. You know how cranky I get without it.”

“There are enough Vietnamese here to shoot so I don't mind you being cranky. You're a better sniper cranky than high on sugar.”

Those words brought him a death glare from the man next to him and he gulped even though he knew Gabriel would never hurt him, especially not while he was already wounded. “Maybe I'll shoot you Winchester,” he warned and for one brief moment John wasn't sure he was joking.

That was until Gabriel started laughing again, nearly doubling over, clearly more than amused by the probably very shocked look on John's face. He pulled John even closer and suddenly the younger Marine found himself on Gabriel's lap. “Jerk.” he muttered, surprised and not so pissed anymore.

“Bitch.” Gabriel returned and laughed again before nuzzling his forehead against John's cheek. It was an intimate gesture.

For one moment John's breath hitched and he was pretty sure he was supposed to pull away or do something else, but instead he leaned in closer putting an arm around the other man's shoulders. He was really glad no one could see them, he was a man after all so was Gabriel. And men didn't go all intimate, snuggling whatever on each other after all John wasn't gay.

He was as straight as they came. At least that was what he was telling himself, like probably everyone else did. because being gay wasn't all that great. And he wasn't gay, he had had sex with women and he had enjoyed it. And why the fuck was he even thinking about being gay, he was just sitting on the lap of his Sergeant, they were holding each other and Gabriel just pressed his forehead against John's cheek. Yeah very – uh – straight.

“I really wish I could stay with you, John. I really wish I could keep you and your family safe,” Gabriel murmured and John had never heard him sound so sad. But before he could ask what he meant and why he was acting like this, Gabriel pulled him even closer and kissed him softly.
At first John wanted to pull away and do something like punch the guy but after a moment he couldn't resist and just relaxed against the other man.

For a moment they were just kissing like this, mouths closed. But soon Gabriel's tongue was softly demanding entrance, and who was John to resist him. They started to explore the mouth of the other, hesitant and shy. John felt like he was back in high school again but it felt so much better.
Gabriel's hands were as gentle as his tongue while he slowly stroked John's back holding him close.

It was so easy to loose himself in the way their tongues gently touched and explored, and in the warmth and comfort Gabriel's arms promised. John really didn't feel like resisting and so he didn't, instead just giving himself over completely to the sensation of being held and kissed, and cared for. Gabriel didn't seem to mind either if the way he was pulling him as close as possible was any indication.

John didn't know how much time had passed when Gabriel finally pulled back. He breathed heavily, aroused but mostly just happy about their making out session. He wanted to pull Gabriel in for another kiss - to hell with being straight! - when he noticed tears running down Gabriel's cheeks. “Hey, Gabe? Everything okay?” he asked, a tiny bit terrified. Gabriel never cried no matter how bad things got.

“I'm sorry, John. I'm so fucking sorry. I really wish I could hate you, you know?” John was stunned, mutely shaking his head. What the hell was going on with his Sergeant? “I'm sorry, John. If I could keep that fate from you I would, but I can't.”

John was about to protest, demanding answers because hell, the way Gabriel was acting was scaring him to death! But before he could do anything Gabriel had pressed another soft kiss to his lips. “Sleep now.”

2nd February – southern Hue – 0700


When John woke up the pain in his leg was gone, in fact the whole wound was gone, his trousers back intact. But John didn't notice, to him everything was normal. Gabriel sat by the window somehow looking crushed, but John couldn't think of any reason for it.

They had made it out of that deadly trap alive and cleaned the house without getting shot by those stupid Vietnamese. The night had been calm, allowing one to sleep with complications while the other one kept watch.

“Anything new, Sergeant?” he asked Gabriel, who looked away from the scenery outside, a sad look on his face as he turned towards him. John still couldn't figure out what it was, and to be honest he was worried about his Sergeant, normally he didn't look like this.

Gabriel stood up, grabbing his gear and motioning for John to do the same thing. “C'mon, saddle up, we're moving out back to HQ.” John nodded following closely behind Gabriel as they made their way down the floor, leaving behind the building that had given them cover for the night.

“Hey, Gabriel?” John asked, as they were about to leave the building. His Sergeant stopped, turning around to look at him.

“What is it, Johnny-Boy?”

John hesitated a moment, not even angry about the nickname anymore but not sure if Gabriel would appreciate his concern, “You okay?” he eventually asked after Gabriel had made an impatient gesture.

The sad look was back on his face but Gabriel just turned around, shotgun ready in his hand as he neared the doorway. “Sure, why shouldn't I be okay, Kiddo?”